im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Damn victory sex feels great
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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