I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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