I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
