Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize