oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The uberlube is also flammable
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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