I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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