remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
