am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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