The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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