put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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