I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
