Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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