I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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