I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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