I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
