Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
