so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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