dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
