Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
