Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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