The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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