Buhtt sex?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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