I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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