His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
