you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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