Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
