Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
