do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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