i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
