Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish you could order shots online.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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