we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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