Even the bartender felt bad for me
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
