I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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