I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
