If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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