she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
