Where is the hickey?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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