I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
