dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize