He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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