i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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