I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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