quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
