my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize