i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize