where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize