I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think my moral compass just broke
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
