tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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