Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
