They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
