His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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