i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love having hate sex.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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