I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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