are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
