i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
