yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
