By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
