hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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