is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
