I wanna bring you to show and tell
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
