Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
