high people should be assigned attendants
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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