Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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